Losing someone you love is one of life’s most stressful events. After a loss, you can experience a wide range of feelings. Although these emotions are part of grief and a natural response to any kind of loss, they can be hard to manage.

To understand more about dealing with loss, we’ll first talk about the stages of grief. We will then describe how grief may show up in mental and physical health, when grief gets complicated, and ways to seek help in dealing with it.

Stages of Grief: What to Expect

We all experience grief in different ways. Feelings of grief can include sadness, shock, numbness, anger and even guilt. Gradually these feelings ease as we accept the loss and move forward with our lives.

The grieving process includes five stages. These are denial, bargaining, anger, depression and acceptance. Keep in mind they don’t always happen in that order. You may experience some stages several times and the stages may even overlap each other.

Denial is the process of coming to terms with the loss. We can’t always wrap our heads around it right away. We might think there’s been a mistake or be unable to believe what has happened. Sometimes a person will not talk about the loss and keep busy with daily activities. These are all efforts to deny feelings.

Bargaining is the process of trying to undo what’s been done. If we’ve lost a loved one, this might mean thinking about what if they had gone to the doctor sooner or tried a different treatment approach for an illness. Some people in this stage of grief may also turn to their faith and prayer in attempt to make a deal with a higher power.

Anger is a natural reaction to loss and might be directed at different sources. You might feel angry at yourself for what you think is your role in the loss. You might even be angry at your loved one for dying and leaving you. Sometimes we blame God or some higher power for allowing the loss to happen.

Depression can show up as feeling lost or confused or having trouble concentrating or making decisions. Feeling a sense of hopelessness about the future can be part of this, too.

Acceptance is when we learn how to live with the loss. It doesn’t mean that our pain or grief fully goes away. But we come to terms with our new reality and let both sadness and joy exist together in our lives. 

These five stages of grief may not be all the feelings you experience after a loss. Grief is very personal and can last for months or years.  

How Grief Shows Up in our Bodies

Emotional pain triggers the same regions of the brain as physical pain. That’s why grief can cause physical symptoms like crying, low energy, headache and lack of appetite. Grief can make your heart literally ache. A memory of your loved one might also give you chills or form a pit in your stomach.

Behind the scenes, grief can increase inflammation in your body. This can worsen health conditions you already have. It can also weaken your immune system, making it more likely for you to get an infection or become ill. Grief might even increase your blood pressure, which can raise your risk for things like blood clots or heart disease.

Intense grief can trigger changes in the heart muscle and blood vessels which has potential to lead to stress-induced heart failure. This is also known as broken heart syndrome.

When Grief Gets Complicated 

In typical grief, sad thoughts and feelings come in waves followed by a break from the grief. A person may still laugh at times and can be consoled by friends and family or happy memories. 

Complicated grief is different. It doesn’t get better on its own. It interferes with the process of accepting a loss.

A major symptom of this type of grief is rumination, which is repetitive, negative, self-focused thought. This thought process keeps a person from addressing the problem. Instead of working through the grief, they shift attention from the painful truth and focus on negative thoughts.  

Symptoms of complicated grief include: 

• Ignoring the grief
• Denying or rewriting what happened
• Physical illness 
• Mental health problems like depression, anxiety, sleep issues, and suicidal thoughts and behaviors 

It’s important to seek professional help for complicated grief, also known as prolonged grief disorder.

How to Work Through Grief

There are many healthy ways to deal with grief. These include finding comfort in others, creating a routine and honoring the person who has passed, says the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. It may also mean getting help from a professional. 

Find comfort: One of the best things we can do when it comes to grief is to talk about it. Express your feelings and don’t avoid talking about death. It’s a normal part of life and a reminder of how precious life is. Share your feelings so you can find support from people you trust.

Create a routine: By keeping order and purpose in your life, you can focus on things you can control. Be sure to include healthy eating and rest in your routine.

Honor your loved one: Find ways to remember and celebrate the life of your loved one. This might mean visiting a favorite place they loved, planting a tree or flowers in their honor, or simply talking about them with others. 

Get help from a professional: If you’re struggling with prolonged, extreme grief, reach out to your doctor about how you’re feeling. It’s important to get screened for any mental health concerns. Your doctor will help you find any follow-up care you may need. If you’ve suffered a pregnancy loss or trauma, there are resources available to help.

Resources for Dealing with Grief

Here are free resources that offer information and help.

• Good Grief’s Grief Resources  offer perspectives on dealing with grief in various settings and timeframes. This includes holidays, the workplace, the classroom and much more.
• The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline  offers help if you’re struggling or know someone who is. Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org
• The National Institute of Mental Health  offers resources for finding help in a crisis response and longer term treatment and mental health providers.

If you or someone you know is dealing with grief, finding support is an important part of healing.

Sources: Grief,  Cleveland Clinic, 2023; Bereavement and Grief,  Mental Health America; What Are the Stages of Grief?,  Cleveland Clinic, 2025; How Grief Shows Up in Your Body,  WebMD, 2019; Grief and Prolonged Grief Disorder,  STATPearls, 2025; Complicated grief,  Mayo Clinic, 2022; Grief,  Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2023